YaoiYuriHentai 2: Legends
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: In a world... Of insane fangirls who have seen it all. Don't even think their adventure is over, because it has just started. Dirty jokes, lies and the power of bananas! A maybe a little romance. Maybe.
1. Chapter 1

Momo sits on a short stump, popping a sucker into her mouth as she waits for her students to arrive. She had officially settled down in Konoha a month ago, and was slowly getting accustomed to the odd peacefulness. Minato and Tsunade had agreed to allow her to become a sensei, so long as she stayed out of trouble.

"Momo-sensei!" Silver yells, running up to the Uchiha.

"Sensei, sensei!" Ray follows close behind.

"What is it? ...Where's Kimiko?" She stands up, dusting her butt off.

"Momo-sensei, I just saw the craziest thing!" Said girl runs forward, flailing her arms in the air.

"Good crazy or bad crazy?" Momo smirks.

"Bad crazy!"

She frowns, "What'd you see?"

"A zombie!"

"..."

"It's true! We saw it too!" Silver adds frantically.

"It was eating a live rabbit!" Ray shudders.

"I think you guys have been watching too many movies." Momo sweatdrops, crossing her arms slowly. "Zombies don't exist."

"But we saw!"

"Are you sure it wasn't an animal?" She sighs. "Never mind, it's not important. We need to train."

"Okay... But it wasn't an animal!"

"Okay, sure, whatever."

* * *

"Who's a big boy? You are! You are!" Flavia pokes the belly of her two year old, silver haired baby boy.

"Yeah, I am!" Junior cheers.

"Is the big boy gonna eat his veggies?"

"No."

"..." Flavia rolls her eyes. "Your eating your veggies."

"But 'dere nasty!"

"They're good for you, now eat up."

"You listen to your mom, Little Fucker." Hidan points a finger at Junior.

"Myeeh!" He pouts, glaring down at the vegetables.

"He's worse than you." Flavia sweatdrops.

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?!" Hidan protests.

Flavia gives him an annoyed look, "Hidan, eat your veggies."

"NO!"

"My point exactly,"

Hidan opens his mouth to protest, but Flavia quickly shoves a piece of broccoli in it.

"AHHH! AAAHHH!" Hidan runs to the sink, spitting the broccoli out and rinsing his mouth out repeatedly. Junior laughs and claps his hands at his daddy's actions.

"Drama queen..." Flavia shakes her head and sets a bowl of meat and veggies on the table. "When your done being... you, come feed Junior."

"How dare you feed him this shit!" Hidan gags.

"It's good for you! Not everyone can eat whatever and live on completely healthy."

"Well hey, if we had converted him when he was a baby-"

"I refuse to inflict pain on a baby. We will convert him when he's ready."

"But-"

"You got to name him!"

"..."

"I went there."

Hidan rolls his eyes and sits in a chair in front of Junior. He starts feeding him, grumbling curse words under his breath. Flavia sits on the couch and picks up a rather thick file. She flips through it, making faces at the mission information.

"Hidan, can you take care of Junior for a week or do I need to call someone?" Flavia sighs.

"Of course I can take care of him! You think I can't take care of my own bundle of hell?" Hidan scoffs, pretending to be offended.

"Well... You can be a little... Scary."

"Little Fucker likes it."

"Okay, okay." Flavia holds her hands up defensively. "If you think you can handle it..."

Junior suddenly sneezes with a mouthful of broccoli. A majority splatters onto Hidan's face. Junior laughs, pointing at him.

"LITTLE FUCKER!"

Flavia groans and makes a note to make some phone calls. She sets the mission file down and turns to look at her two boys.

"Would you stop calling him that?"

"No," Hidan replies stubbornly, wiping chewed up broccoli off his face.

"If he's little fucker, what does that make you?"

"..."

"Exactly, Hida-chan."

Hidan crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, stomping away. Flavia throws her hands up and gets up to let Junior free.

"If you spit any food on me, you will cease to exist little boy." She warns, bending down to his height.

* * *

**And finally, I have finished the first chapter! Did you guys like? :3 just a few notes: Updates will be a little slow... Stupid school year...**

**2.) Any new readers? Feel free to check out the first part :3**

**3.) Read and Review please! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

"Obito..."

"Wait, sensei! I can do it, I can do it!"

"Obito."

"I said I can do it, just wait!"

"Obito!"

Madara groans and facepalms at his newest student. He swore, every new student was just getting more and more stubborn. He makes a silent vow that Obito would be his last, then he would retire. Unless of course, Dinah would stop being such a prude and give him a kid or two.

Obito, having recently turned 17, had gotten back into the Shinobi groove after a few years recovery. A few scars still remained on the left side of his body for obvious reasons. Madara had fixed him right up with the help of Zetsu. Now, Madara had taken Obito under his wing and slightly regretted it. Some moments were nice, but everyone annoyed him a majority of the time.

Because Obito was very much out of practice, they were working on chakra control. Refreshing his memory of things he was once great at. All he had to do was run up the tree with no hands. Madara found it more and more amusing every time Obito fell.

Madara closes his eyes and leans against a different tree, waiting for Obito to give up. He day dreams of the past, far into the past when Uchiha's still were one of the top Shinobi clans. He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his thick hair. When he notices the sound of Obito falling and cursing had stopped, he looks up to see Obito just getting to the top.

"Sensei! Hey, Madara-Sensei! Check it out!" Obito hangs upside down, flashing a proud grin. "I said I could do it!"

Madara claps sarcastically, "Great job. It only took you all day."

"But I did it! Don't be so sarcastic, it's not very nice." Obito starts his decent down the tree.

"Who said I'd be nice?" Madara chuckles. "Lets go, it's time for dinner."

"Great, I'm starved! What're we eating tonight?"

"Whatever Flavia cooked up, I guess."

"So I finally get to meet your family, extended family and friends?! This is gonna be awesome!" Obito dashes off out of sight.

Madara stands there awkwardly and sighs louder. He pinches the bridge of his nose and waits for Obito to come running back. The younger Uchiha laughs breathlessly, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Uhh, where does this Flavia chick live?" Obito asks.

"Well that doesn't matter, because we're going to the base." Madara turns on his heel and leads the way.

As the two Uchiha's walk slowly(one much more impatient than the other) towards the base, Obito bombards Madara with questions about the Akatsuki and they're "forever guests". He makes circles around his sensei, buzzing with excitement.

"Obito, would you calm down? It's really not that big a deal." Madara clamps a hand over Obito's mouth. "The Akatsuki are normal-ish people who live bizarre lives. I'd prefer not to be questioned about them and their personal lives, especially when your about to meet them."

Obito speaks muffled words under Madara's hand.

"Just shut up until we get there."

"No WAY! Your base is inside Hokage rock?!" Obito squeals. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah, yeah." Madara rolls his eyes and pulls open a secret hatch. "Get inside, fanboy."

At that, a large explosion goes off accompanied by screaming, cursing and yelling. Obito falls silent and looks into the opening with wide eyes. Madara nudges him inside and closes the opening, quickly enveloping them in darkness.

Madara places a hand on Obito's shoulder, leading him through the darkness to the brighter part of the base. Excited screams erupt in the chaos already happening. Obito takes a step back as 2 girls and 3 more kids bum-rush Madara. They smother him in hugs, wrapping onto every part of his body. He stands stiff, keeping himself from falling over.

A few other members greet Madara in a normal fashion before they finally notice Obito oogling them. The boy seemed to be hyperventilating. Dinah nuzzles up against Madara, grinning like a 5 year old who got ahold of some candy. The kids crowd around Obito, wondering who the new stranger was.

Junior, the offspring of Hidan and Flavia, was clinging to Obito's arm, chewing on his hand as he eyes the Uchiha curiously. Konami, the first child of Konan and Pein, was a carrot top 9 year old girl who was nothing but a ball of trouble. She wore a baby blue kimono and stood in front of Obito, questioning him about everything from who he was to why the sky was blue. Kenji is their second born son. His hair was blue and cropped into a mohawk. He had just turned 3 and was rather mature for his age. He didn't talk much, but stared curiously at Obito.

"Madara-Sensei, what's with all the kids?" He asks.

"You didn't tell him, un?" Deidara rolls her eyes. "Typical Uchiha, un."

"Shut up, blondie." Madara scowled. "I was just about to tell him."

"About to tell me what?" Obito scrunched his eyebrows together.

Madara sighed, "Aside from the fact that we are an evil organization-"

"Barely evil." Dinah scoffed.

"We are _pure_ evil."

"About as evil as a rabbit."

"A mutant rabbit."

"No, a normal rabbit that's cute and-"

"Dinah, shut up." Madara growled. "I'm trying to make a point."

Pein sighed loudly, "Obito, despite what you or the rest of the world think of us, we are techniqually a family. And not just anyone can join it."

"Oh..." Obito nodded.

"So in order to join us, you must prove yourself. And if you lie or deceive us, you will die." Pein added.

And while Madara and Dinah argued about their evil status, while the kids ran amuck, Obito quietly groaned and wondered if he could make it in... Or if he even wanted to.

* * *

**Hey guys, long time no update :3 review? ...review!**


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